let loose, who the fuck cares?

make space, i'm coming through! i'm part of this F'n world too.

i'm holding my fucking Heart in my hands. got my sleeves all wet, stained and shit cuz he didn't want it.. Fuck it, i'm snatching it back. this shit is making me sour.... wtf?? how did i manage to make the one person i truely opened myself up to, and cared for, so unhappy? i know shit wasn't great, you should've seen the way he was acting. my godd, you should've seen the way he was acting. i wasn't supposed to be his enemy. i've thrown fists for him. i traded sunlight, and beaches for his dark room. i forgave. and swallowed jealousy... i've been ashamed of these feelings, had me hanging my head low. my life's been on pause cuz these pains just been too profound, pathetically mourning something he clearly didn't want to let give life to. he never shed a tear for the blood we've spilled. so my face reflected his, never spoke about it. and now i'm chasing Five years of my life, trying to make sense of them, give them some type of meaning. tell me they mean something to You at least. maybe You could share some of it's Worth with me. but please don't tell me all You got is a Lesson Learned. i refuse to be the Mistake. i know i meant more to You than this.
so why?

Yarmin E. ♥