i could hardly wait

i'm tryna play it smooth but shiit i'm havin' spasms. every time i think of it my insides do this weird thing.... it's real stupid tho, it's foolish the way i set myself up for further torment. cuz i kno, in the FRONT of my mind (lol) that i can't handle this. at least not too easily. i'm kinda divin' in. not knowin' wat will come from it, or even wat i want to come. and& it seems u dnt either. should we think this thru first? i try to look at us thru different eyes cuz it shouldn't have to be a certain way. u don't have to be my enemy. after all u WERE just the opposite at some point, right? plus+ i don't enjoy hating u. being bitter, it ain't me. i'ma carefree-typah bitch lol. not really. but either way in the end holdin' u my foe feels like loosing. actually i'm fine until i start thinkin' of specific fucked-up, stupid, heartless shit u did or said. or/ things u didn't do or say. but then again u weren't always the bad guy. i mean things dnt have to be sugar sweet btwn us but lets leave the feud for other sleeveless wars. things just shouldn't have been left the way u left them...
i could hardly wait. *spasm*! ..eek

Yarmin E. ♥