Mmmmm

omg. i am dying for some Werther's butter candy.

i put a black piece of tape over my laptop's built- in camera cuz i felt like someone might be watching me. it felt like an eye just staring at me.

seemed logical when i did it. now i'm looking at it and laughing.. so paranoid.... but i'm still not taking it off LOL.

no, no, no

i am not giving up. i need to feel that sweet feeling of accomplishment. it's been a while. so i'm sticking through it. don't you let me down.
*inhale.... exhale*

"tomorrow, if a golden train came to take you away, would you go? or would you stay?"

golden train- justin nozuka

without rain there's no rainbow

i love the rain, i don't mind it. but where's the Summer weather? we're in June, right?
i want to go to the beach a whole lot this summer. and the pool. also need to re-learn how to ride a bike. roller-blading would be cool too. and i'm def getting behind a motor-cycle this yr, it's time.
let's go on a road trip. to nowhere, and camp out. and if the clouds won't give way to the sun this Summer then so be it. lets dance in the rain.
can you promise me a good Summer?



image by Sehrish M.

Yarmin E. ♥

fucking deadlines. i hate them!

as much as i missed school i can't stand writing papers. i'm just not good at BSing. got this paper due on British colonization.. ugh. the hardest part is starting. how would we have survived without our friend Mr. Last Minute.
i came across this cool vid during my procrastination. coincidence.

OH EM GEE Yarmin! pls!!

just do it! for me?

♫ ♪ ♪

"smile. happiness, you can model it.
and when you feel opposite
i just want you to know
your whole being is beautiful
i'ma do the best i can do
cuz i'm my best when i'm with you"

come close - common ♥
thank u

i'm so undefined

you know?

Yarmin E. ♥

if i can't skip life, may i skip today?

ugh................. goodnight. closing my blinds.

yarmin e.

and he ages without me too

happy birthday ♥

Yarmin E.

i haven't changed. at all. have i? the way i feel about me, and the world around me hasn't changed. those insecurities are these same ones right here, they still hold me back. and the pain i been feeling, for way too long now, i don't know what to make of it. when does it become a lesson learned? how is it that as unchanged as i continue to be my life feels so unstable? like at any minute things are finally going to come crashing down completely and i'm going to loose it.


Yarmin E.

Laugh with Me, Not at Me LOL

this was a while ago. yea, i do this sometimes. so?
don't leotards just make you want to dance to Single Ladies? lol :-}

the thing about it

the thing about is that it feels like it could kill you.
feels like it should..
it should. but it doesn't.
you'll be OK. you'll always be OK.


Yarmin E. ♥

this makes me love the song even more

these are fifth graders. i wonder if they understand the meanings to the lyrics. either way they look like they're feelin' it ♥. i wish i had a teacher like this when i was in elementary school.. we should give this to all our kids. we need something like this.

always give up

i'll always give up at the end of the day. i'll come home. close my blinds. drown the noise with my fan. lay. i've been defeated, again. i'm so tired. sleep at last. wait for the nightmares. and pray tomorrow won't wake me. pray tomorrow won't wake me.
pray tomorrow won't wake me. pray tomorrow won't....


yarmin e.

let loose

who the fuck cares?
i'm cleaning out my closet today.

luckless

i think i've wasted all my Good Luck. i must've played too many i-declare-war games.
wait. think that maybe we're given a certain amount of Bad Luck too?? then i should be running low soon...
but then what are we left with after they both run out?

Yarmin E. ♥

i want to do this!

i called

how can it be possible?? i laugh, shaking my head with tears in my eyes. but not cuz i'm laughing hard. and i'm not laughing because it's funny. in fact, it's not funny at all.... how long has it been?? and still? his voice goes unchanged!!? ....... that shouldn't be possible. that voice belongs to someone who once loved me. take away his heart from me?,, then take away his voice! so that when he speaks, it wont send those thousand knives through me.. and he shouldn't be allowed to say "hello" with such ease either. make his voice quiver as if he too were in pain. and then maybe i wont hang up so quickly.

Yarmin E. ♥

it's like..

it's like i'm balancing on a rope. with a curtain covering the other end where safety is expected to be. i can't see it. i don't know where this is taking me. but i'm trying to get somewhere. so i'm getting back up, and dusting myself off. back on this rope. yea, afraid i might fall on my face again but i don't want to stay on this end. there has to be more to this. so i'm giving it another try.

got my fingers crossed. toes too!! x| ... lol.


Yarmin E. ♥

happy mami's day

Mami n me ♥
Sept./Oct. 1987

today

today i want to hear the world through music. all day. headphones held on tight.
listen to the world sing, and understand.
i want to hear you sing. hear your pain. and feel your pain..

make it mine.

let me.. in. slide over a bit, let me crawl under the sheets with you.
we can share this. because i too am afraid.

today i want to HEAL.

so hold my eyelids open, and face me towards that bitter truth.

let it hurt!
but then ease it with your voice, and familiar kiss. embrace me with your scent.

i don't want to feel this numbness anymore.
i want to let go, today. but still hold on.. so i need to FEEL.

lick my wounds, let it sting while they heal.
and these old scars here,
trace these old scars with your fingertips, and understand.

listen while i let you in. hear me sing. and hear my pain.
Feel my pain.. make It yours.

Yarmin E. ♥

for a moment

i wish i had more control over my emotions. then maybe i could have held on to that feeling that just passed me... for a moment i forgave u. i don't know why or where it came from. but it was such a relieving feeling. i nearly smiled at the thought of u... and then it was
gone.

i wish it lasted.

Yarmin E. ♥

meanwhile

meanwhile Love deceives me, it embraces others.

congratulations to the newly weds 5/7 . may it last further than the inevitable ends.
will forever be grateful to you for my two beautiful nieces.

Yarmin E. ♥